We all have picture-perfect dreams of how our lives will turn out, but life doesn’t quite work like that.
Life deals us all some hard knocks. In an effort to find myself, and live my purpose, I have walked many paths, and lived a very colorful life. I’ve gotten a lot of it right, and I’ve gotten a lot of it wrong. I’ve made some very poor choices, that have lead to painful experiences.
There are many things in my past that I would redo in a “New York minute,” if I could—but I can’t. Because, the past is just that, the past. You can’t get yesterday back, we only have now. Truth be told, it’s in getting the bumps and bruises we are being taught valuable life lessons. So, I have come to thank my past for the adventures I have taken, as well, I have learned to let it go.
It seems to be a natural inclination that when our dreams get shattered, we want to go back to ground-zero, and hit reset. Maybe you had a disappointment in your childhood that you’ve carried around for decades; you finally get what you wanted in your career, only to be told you have cancer; you married the love of your life, only to find yourself divorced; you raised a child, only to have your loved one murdered by senseless gun violence. But, the reality is, no matter how devastating or horrible it was, it is over now.
And, please understand me, I am not trivializing pain and suffering. I know how it feels to be hard hit in the aftermath of disappointment and to go through the myriad of emotions that can be sparked by grief. But, when we’re still living in the “what ifs” berating, comparing and beating ourselves up months or even years down the road, that dark hole doesn’t close; it becomes palpable. My path to clarity came when I finally accepted my reality, as painful as it was. As well, I realized that it was okay to feel upset and angry. But, instead of wallowing in self-pity, we need to accept the fact—none of us are ever going to get to the place in life where we have no more disappointments.
What’s more, picking yourself back up again is easier said than done. Nor, does it take any special strength or courage to give up. Life teaches us lessons that can please us or disappoint us, but regardless it will teach us valuable lessons. Without disappointment and the lessons it offers, how will we ever learn to grow stronger and more resilient as a person? Without the valley, how can we appreciate the mountain top?
At the end of the day, you and only you, have the power in your life to close the chapter on yesterday, so you can be free to live the life you have left. Be grateful for the possibilities of a new day. You must surrender the pains of yesterday if you wish to taste the joys of today.
